I have been reflecting on my work as a Counsellor and Psychotherapist and about society and humanity. I wish to share with you a simple truth that I always find underneath any problem behaviour in people. The good news is that problem behaviour can be overcome.
You are responsible for your own behaviour, in the present day. No matter what you have been through in life, no matter what historic people, circumstances or events have hurt you, today you are responsible for your own behaviour. That is the simple truth.
You have already survived everything that has ever happened to you, right up to this very moment in which you are reading this article. How you decide to behave today, is a choice that you make. That is your responsibility and yours alone. That is the simple truth.
If you are behaving in a way which is detrimental, damaging or harmful to yourself or to somebody else, that is a choice that you have decided to make. No matter what you have been through in life, what you do today is simply about the type of person you decide to be in any given moment. Rather than damaging and harmful behaviour, you could behave in a way that helps others, inspires others and that creates peace and well-being. You could treat yourself more kindly. How you decide to behave is your responsibility and yours alone. That is the simple truth.
Whatever hurt you carry inside, from your life experiences before this very moment, today you are in control of what you decide to do. The way that you decide to behave. The things you choose to do. The way you treat yourself and others. The way you treat your community, society and even the environment and world around you. All of this, in the present moment, is your responsibility and yours alone. That is the simple truth.
Whatever you do today is for you to decide. It is your responsibility to make the decision about how you are going to behave. If you blame historic situations, circumstances or people from the past, for your problematic behaviour today, you are simply lying to yourself so that you can continue to avoid taking responsibility. After all, if you convince yourself to blame others for how you decide to behave today, you can carry on behaving badly and feel justified in doing so. Nonetheless, while you act out on your hurt from the past, there is no getting away from the fact that you are responsible for how you decide to behave today. That is the simple truth.
So, when are you going to stop treating yourself, others or the world around you badly? When are you going to stop acting out your hurt and take responsibility to deal with how you feel? When are you going to stop blaming the past for how you decide to behave today? When are you going to stop playing this unnecessary game that simply causes further unnecessary damage?
If you struggle to change, counselling and psychotherapy can help. Talking to a friend or family member can help.
This message is not to any specific individual. It is to all individuals; all people.
But it starts with you, the individual reader.
(C) Dean Parsons. 2018.